This Audible Heisman goes to the best mash-up of the year. A quality mash-up is hard to accomplish. You have to take the best qualities of each song and somehow flow them together. The first mash-up I heard that really made me take notice of this style of mixing music was the album 'From Blue Eyes To Bedstuy'. It was a combo of Frank Sinatra and Notorious B.I.G. This was before the massive explosion of free music on the internet, so sadly, I do not own this album and haven't been able to find it. The mash-up that really put the art of mashing in the national spectrum was 'The Grey Album'. It mixed The Beatles 'White Album' with Jay-Z's 'Black Album'. DJ Danger Mouse was the masher in this case and then went on to co-found Gnarls Barkley with Cee-Lo. Speaking of, the J-B Weld Award goes to...
DJ O-Face- 'Jay Bells'
I couldn't find a video of any song off the album, so I'm just going to post the two songs of my favorite track separately. Also, you can go here to grab the whole album.
Jay-Z- 'Izzo'
Sleigh Bells- 'Riot Rhythm'
Solid songs individually, dynamite together. Also, 'Izzo' was Kanye's first hit as a producer, so there's always a soft spot there. For those of you that know hip hop/rap, especially mash-ups, you probably have some beef with me right now. How can there be a mash-up award and it not go to Girl Talk. Simmer down, there is a valid reason. Girl Talk is not eligible for the Audible Heismans for two reasons: 1. He got caught with performance enhancing drugs. It turns out he was injecting himself with more than the legal limit of awesome. The playing field is not even. 2. He's already in the Audible Heisman Hall of Fame. The fact of the matter is that Girl Talk is on another level when it comes to mash-ups. Most people will take two songs and put them together. Girl Talk is not content with two. His mash-up mixtapes usually contain a mix of 100-200 songs spanning several genres. My favorite album of his is 'Night Ripper'. You can also grab his most recent album 'All Day'. Keep your eyes peeled for the Epilepsy Award.
This Audible Heisman is awarded to the song that you put on layaway. With listening to the radio, anyone with a semblance of a discerning palate, faces the same dilemma. How many times have you turned on the radio to hear 'wake up in the morning, feelin' like P Diddy...' and just let out an 'arrrrrrgggghhh' and plugged the Aux cord in your iPod? Thousands of times by now, to be sure. Like most media, the whole radio system panders to the lowest common denominator. It is not wired for the people that listen to their radio all day long, they're counting on only getting you for about 10mins, every 2hrs. So, just to be safe, they play numbers 1-5 song on a constant loop all day, so that the masses will hit it & be like thats my jam, even though its entirely played out. Its all part of my love/hate relationship with the radio. It would take a firestorm of ridiculousness the likes foretold in Revelation for me to turn my back on the radio. It is still, to this day, reigning champion as best gift I ever received; for my ninth birthday, my own radio I could put in my room! I want to be able to read the pulse of our culture, but I want a little variety in what I hear all day as well. I have 5 general reactions to the radio: 1. 'arrrrrrgggh, seriously, apparently, i'm still a firework.' 2. 'hmmm, interesting, I'm kinda diggin' this... yeah, uh huh, you know what it is...' 3. 'man, I'm into this song, but I'd be down if they wouldn't play it for a long, long while... can we pretend that airplanes...' 4. 'thats my jammmmmmm!!!!!! no matter whats happening or how many times I've heard it, its hot and I'm into it... I know its been a while, sweetheart, we hardly talk...' and 5. 'I dig it, but every time it comes on its getting skipped.' This winner received the 5th reaction. More people should do this. If somehow you can have the forethought to have a small taste of a song and realize you like it but it has potential to be a 3rd reaction song, put it on layaway and pick it up from customer service in bout 6 months; surely, Ke$ha will have taken Jesus off her neck-a-lus, us, us by that time (one can hope, right). With that introduction, the Blue Light Special Award goes to...
Bruno Mars- The Way You Are
I was curious how it was gonna go for Bruno. Was he going to be just a hook guy and stay in AAA with his .430 avg. or would he have the goods to adjust to big league pitching and make the transition. So far, it seems as if he can hit more than a fastball. This song is objectively good. Catchy, touching, good voice, strong lyrics. Grenade may be even better (2nd reaction currently and will probably jump to 4th reaction in a couple years). Somehow, the stars aligned and I just knew to hold off on this song. I'm actually still holding off on it, I'll more than likely embrace it fully in a couple months. And it will be so worth the wait. Never underestimate the power of delayed gratification. Keep your eyes peeled for the J-B Weld Award after the break.
This award goes to the best new artist aka the best new kid on the block. Many people don't know this bout me, but I have very serious opinions about NKOTB. Ask any real fan & they'll tell you that Jordan Knight is the prize at the bottom of the Cracker Jack box. I got mad love for Joey, for obvious reasons. Danny was just dumb; Danny, you're not tough, you're in a boy band. Donnie was kind of the leader of the group who went on to be a E list character actor. He also had a very short stint as a horrible rapper. Jonathan & Jordan Knight were the brains behind the 'music' & choreography. Jordan made a 6 day comeback in '99 with 'Give It To You' (sad to say, I actually had this single) which I believe made it even possible to have the renaissance of NKOTB. Jordan had the leading man looks that Jonathan never had, hence best new kid (send all hate mail to my 2 sisters who indoctrinated me, against my will, to the stylings of NKOTB). With all that in mind, the Jordan Knight Award goes to...
Nicki Minaj
Nicki Minaj had a monster year!!! She dropped one of the most anticipated albums in music this past year. She's brings it harder than most dudes a la Foxy Brown. She's cute & weird. She stole pretty much every track she collab'd on (i.e. Bedrock, My Chick Bad etc). For some reason I really dig her vibe & her flow. She's got some great mentors in Drake & Lil' Wayne to push her to keep getting better so she'll be a name for a while to come. Up next is the Blue Light Special Award.
The Ecclesiastes Award goes to the best 'seasonal' song (past winners include Summertime, Please Come To Boston, Winter Song, Autumn In New York, etc). Seasonal songs are generally awesome! They take you straight to that backyard bbq or warm, crackling fire, definitely some nostalgic goodness. Its certainly a topic that transcends cultures; everyone has seasons (even if the 602 only gets two of them). This award winning song has secured a spot in my iPod for many years to come. It has collaboration from 2.5 genres, one of my favorite rappers being one of them, the fusion of male/female vocals, real catchy hook and just plain ole fun! The winner of the Ecclesiastes Award is...
Kid Cudi- All Summer ft. Best Coast & Rostam Batmangli (of Vampire Weekend)
Its also a good enough jam that you can bump it all year long without feeling weird. Solid song top to bottom by some huge break-out stars on the rise. Stay tuned for the Jordan Knight Award.
This Audible Heisman is awarded to the song that is soooo good, that it's scary you haven't heard it yet. !El Cucuy! is basically the Mexican boogeyman. The artist is for all extensive purposes, one of 2 or 3 hottest things around. I've been following him since his bball/wheelchair teeny bopper days in the Canadian version of Saved By The Bell/One Tree Hill. What I didn't know then, but is clearly evident now, this guy can flow. Everything he's on right now, just sounds better. I really can't think of one rhyme of his that I don't like. This song has a sweet soft melody & a great hook with a nice voice. Its certainly a softer side of the artist. Without further ado, El Cucuy Award goes to...
Drake- July ft Jhene
I also have an affinity for this song cause its about summer flings, which definitely hit me in a special place. Speaking of which, the Ecclesiastes Award will be coming right up.
This Audible Heisman is awarded to the song that is stuffed down your throat yet you fight it and fight it, but it actually is good for you. That is how I feel about this award winner. There were times, where three, separate genre, radio stations would be playing this song. It was in the malls, department stores, government buildings, etc. Not even Jack Bauer could escape it. Usually, when this happens, and it happens way, way, way more than should be legal, the disdain starts to build around the 328th time you've heard it. As this occurs with a truly, objectively good song, you forget that its a good song. Very similar to the way a really good truth, can become trite and platitudinal. For an example, telling someone God bless. If you are anything like me, that can ring hollow. But think about what you are saying; you are telling that person that the infinite, all powerful, mighty, loving, sovereign God could/would put his favor on that person to the extent, that they would find themselves so wrapped up in His presence and goodness (which is the deepest way a person is blessed). I also, really enjoy this song because I've been with this band since their first album and am excited to see them get the national pub that they've warranted. Without further ado, the Brussel Sprouts Award goes to...
Lady Antebellum- 'Need You Now'
Solid love song. Pain, regret, departure; gotta love it. Random trivia fact, this song is also the only non-50's/60's/kenny rogers/neil diamond song that my dad has gone out of his way to mention that he likes. I just about did a spit take when he told me but I was proud of him for embracing something from this century. After this commercial break, El Cucuy Award will be presented.
This Audible Heisman is awarded to the song with the sickest, nastiest, heavy-hitting beat. This song, just made it in the '10 deadline, but I'm so glad it did. I love this song for many, many reasons, here are just a few: 01. After a large quantity of aight leaks/releases, its quite refreshing to get a reminder of why I love this artist. 02. Its wordplay and flow match the intensity of the beat. 03. Great, great sample (but you most likely remember it from this awesome late '80s delight). 04. The first time I heard this song was very shortly followed by the 7th and 13th time I heard this song.
The Ike Turner Award goes to...
Lil Wayne- 6' 7'
Best of his, by far, since 'A Milli' & 'Lollipop'. Songs like this remind me why I feel in love with music in the first place. Like I said, ridiculous flow! 'life is a b!tc#, and death is her sister/ sleep is the cousin, what a f-ckin' family picture/ you know father time, we all know mother nature/ it's all in the family, but I am of no relation/ no matter who's buying, I'm a celebration/ black and white diamonds, f-ck segregation' & 'talking to myself because I am my own consultant/ married to the money, f-ck the world, that's adultery/ you full of sh-t, you close your mouth and let yo a$$ talk/ young Money eating, all you haters do is add salt/ stop playing, b!tc#, I got this game on deadbolt/ mind so sharp, I f-ck around and cut my head off'. Are you serious!!!!!The Brussels Sprouts Award is forthcoming.
This Audible Heisman goes to the song that you know is objectively horrible, indulgent, you make fun of it, but you listen to it and hate yourself for it, but in the end you love it and can't stop yourself from belting it out. Just so we are clear, this award is dubbed in honor (is that the right word...?) of the original show, not the travesty that is on CW right now. I have a love/hate relationship with the winner of this award. I can respect the talent and the good business sense but I generally dislike the overall persona and the vibe the artist puts out there. It just seems really gimmicky and is churning a generation of people who, I fear, will not really think for themselves and try sooooo hard to be different and unique that they'll be carbon copies of the artist, hence not different or unique. If you desire so much to be different and unique, then I'd suggest really diggin' in to how God has wired you and express that. Since God is so multifaceted, He makes all His image bearers different, unique and special. With that said, the Beverly Hills 90210 Award goes to...
Lady Gaga- 'Bad Romance'
I can't stop myself from loving this song! Believe me, I've tried really, really hard but I can't deny it. I think it translates so well to so many people, cause we all know what its like when we just desire really stupid things. We know its not good for us, we know its gonna end bad, but we just want it. Stay tuned, the Ike Turner Award is next.
The Jimmy McMillan Award is given to the artist that grabs instant notoriety because of the ridiculousness of his name or cause. Though, Jimmy McMillan's name may not strike you right away, you surely remember when he burst onto the national scene during the NY Gubernatorial debate lamenting the upward price of his living quarters. This year's winner is an average to slightly above average rapper whom I claim, only has his billing, based on his ridiculous name. This category always offers stiff competition, especially from the rap community. Some honorable mentions this year are OJ Da Juiceman, Royce Da 5' 9", Yelawolf, Pooh Tha Wooh Kid, etc. Without further ado, the winner of the Jimmy McMillan Award is...
Waka Flocka Flame
'Hard In The Paint' was one of the hottest songs in the club this summer, the beat is dope, but the rhyme is aight, at best. But this song did spur on of my favorite video's of the year and for that, Waka's cool with me.
Stay tuned for tomorrow's Audible Heisman, The Beverly Hills 90210 Award.
The next Audible Heisman is the Kournikova award. This goes to the artist who is completely mediocre in their field, yet gets over-hyped simply because of their hotness, thus translating to dollars for them and sustained spotlight. This award is an absolute no brainer this year. It's difficult to imagine anybody else embodying this award quite like her for a while. She may even be on the makings of a dynasty if she stays on the course she's on. For those that know me, there is no suspense on the winner of this award, so I'll just get right to it. The Kournikova Award goes to...
Katy Perry
I'm not going to support her in any way by posting a pic of her or one of her songs. Her music is uninspired and the epitome of all that is horrible in our current internet age. In a lot of ways its hard to even fault her. She's just using the resources that she has available to her. I just wish that we were a more discerning consumer base in which music like hers would get weeded out. Stay tuned for the Jimmy McMillan Award is next.
Welcome back. This next award is the Costco Award. It is earned by having the best use of another song in your song or 'sample', as we in the biz call it. A well planned sample can instantly take the listener to a familiar place and they remember how much they like the old song as it ushers the new song into their world. This award could have just as easily been dubbed the P-Diddy Award as he used sample after sample to propel himself into the career he now has (think 'I'll Be Missing You' ripped from The Police's 'Every Breath You Take', 'Mo' Money, Mo' Problems' ripped from Diana Ross' 'I'm Coming Out' & the most dastardly of all 'Come With Me' rippin' one of the hottest riffs to ever flow from a guitar, Led Zeppelin's 'Kashmir', etc, etc ). Like a skillful cover, the sample, requires the right artists touch. This brings us to this years winner. He is one of the most underrated lyricist's in the game. His wordplay is right up there with the best of 'em & his cadence warms your heart to him instantly. He spit over one of the hottest songs of the past year & brought a whole different feel to it. I especially love it when an artist crosses genre's for their sample & that's exactly what he does on this one. Without further ado, the Costco Award goes to...
Lupe Fiasco- Show Goes On
The song being sampled here is Modest Mouse's '04 hit 'Float On' which brought this underground band to the mainstream. I think Lupe does this song great justice & kills it lyrically. I definitely am very excited to see what his upcoming album Lasers will bring.
Be on the lookout for tomorrows award, The Kournikova Award.
The next award is the Microwave Award. It goes out to the best cover song of the year. Cover songs are a very specific type of genius. I'm not talking bout the rock band that does 'Use Somebody' by Kings of Leon or the ole standbys like Journey or The Beatles. Those have been done, done & overdone. You could say that they were left in the microwave a bit too long. Though there were many good covers this year, one outshone the rest. It takes a '70s disco love song and really re-imagines it. It was a part of this excellent Levi's promo where a dozen or so artists covered some of their favorite songs. Without further ado, the Microwave Award winner is...
Young Hearts Run Free- Swell Season
Marketa Irglova & Glen Hansard make up Swell Season. They obtained national attention from starring in the '06 movie Once & their song 'Falling Slowly' captured the Oscar for Best Original Song. They have a great sound & you should check out their entire catalog.
The first Audible Heisman is the Paxson/Holmes Award. This award is given out to the song that most embodies the feeling of pain or loss. I especially enjoy 'pain' songs because of the raw emotion that is usually involved in the experience of the song (past winners include 'Hurt' by Johnny Cash & 'Blowers Daughter' by Damien Rice). While putting the links on the 2 names of the award, I still could not even watch them because of the stress they cause. Somehow seeing them makes it worse, even though, I could never erase the memories from my mind. This year's winner scratches me right where I itch, not only is it a painful subject, but its sung so sweetly. Easily, one of my favorite nominations. Without further ado, this years winner of the Paxson/Holmes Award is...
