i was prayin with my peeps the other night, and i was just askin god to speak. i really just wanted a word from him. i really didn't wanna go through the motions, ya know, i just wanted to hear god and say what he put on my heart to say to him. i wanted it to be real, natural, organic, conversational, all that. well, he kept refreshing in my mind this song 'put on'- young jeezy ft. kanye west. and it was just the chorus, '... i put on for my city, on, on for my city...'. i was just vibin with it and then i'd be all oh yeah, i'm praying, hey, god, i wanna hear ya and then it would be all '... i put on for my city...'; it went like that for 20 mins. it was almost as if i was feeling guilty about having a song in my head during 'prayer time' and i was kinda asking god to speak out of obligation, not really a desire to hear from him, but i did desire to hear from him, its weird like that sometimes. well, the song wouldn't leave and thats when god made it click. thats what he was telling me; he wanted me to put on for my city, on, on for my city.
so, the song itself is talking mainly about 2 things: reppin' for where you're from and flossin what you got. in other words, jeezy was saying, 'hey world, i'm from the dirrty, dirrty; the dirrty is great and hey, world (including the dirrty, although, i would claim that the 602 is the real dirrty south, but i digress) look at how amazing i am and how much money i got.' but god was tellin me rep for your city --> pray for your city, intercede for your city, bless your city, pour time into your city, gospel your city, claim your city, put on for your city and floss what you got --> show off jesus, really wear your 'jesus piece', proclaim jesus boldly and accurately, put on for your city. the verses that came to mind were matt. 5:13-16 and as i was reading them, i was totally thinkin, 'put on for your city, on, on for your city'.
see, even in my desire to hear from god i was making a costly mistake. i was presupposing that if god were to speak, it would be in some crazy 'spiritual' way. even though i really did want to hear god, i think part of my motivation was wanting some prescribed spiritual experience as a type of pick-me-up. how ghastly and evil that i would approach his throne that way and totally trample on the priviledge it is that the all-powerful god would even hear us let alone give us himself! i was forgetting a truth that i so fervently believe that god uses all things to glorify himself. i was forgetting that god ultimately pursues us, we don't ultimately pursue him. i was forgetting that all throughout history god has spoken in ways that his children can hear. i was forgetting that i am a sheep of the great shepherd and the great shepherd speaks to me in a way that i hear, namely, through music. in my experience, god usually talks to me in loud ways; not while i'm kumbaya-ing out in the forest, with the dandelions. if you're a kumbaya-er, praise god, it just aint me. i'm a club banger hearer of god. i hear god best in the noise, in the flow of life. god usually tickle my ear with sweet whispers, he drops it like its hot. more and more that i actually hear god, the more and more i'm convinced that i gotta do me, i can't expect to do what i would think it should be because it works for other people. praise god for the diversity of his people and the gajillion ways that he speaks, may we have ears to hear!
pursue hearing god. check your motivations. be open to finding out 'how' you hear god (granted, it prolly won't look the same everytime, but over a broad history, there will prolly be some trends). grind what you hear through the word of god; if it contradicts scripture, then you heard wrong. if there's some one you know who hears god often/well, ask 'em to teach you some schnazz. we have a great resource in jesus, why do we so often try to reinvent the wheel! jesus' got this, simmer down!
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p.s. heres the song, if you want some context.
p.p.s. what are some ways that god speaks to you? i'm always interested in seeing peep's process for hearing/discerning god, so whats yours? do you wanna hear god? please comment with your answer.
*i've since learned that my last post wasn't as clear as i thought it was, so be sure to read the comments under them and they'll really help you understand what i meant.
abortion and gay marriage, lets go...
these issues are not as cut and dry for me, as they seem to be, for so many other people that share my allegiance to christ. for most in my camp, it is very clear. every single person should have afforded to them the gift of life. heres my question, is that same insistence given to convicted felons (and maybe even muslim extremists or radical dictatorships)? you may say, 'they are guilty, they deserve death!' oh, be so very careful, how we swing the condemnation stick! apart from christ every single person has the same exact chance of escaping just condemnation, namely, zero! if you find yourself in christ, it is not because you are innocent and deserving life. no, it is the grace of god extended to you by jesus through the cross. 'innocence' and 'deserve' aren't even in the equation because we are evil and our just dessert is the full, unbridled wrath of god. so, i never, ever wanna be the one to pull the trigger on another persons life, be that in the womb or on death row.
i don't know how so many people can be pro-life yet pro capital punishment. i never can believe that someone is outside of the grace of god. i look at all the evil that is in me and was mine to claim apart from christ and i exclaim 'god, i know you can save them, you did it to me; god please, if you can rescue me, then i know your grace is big enough for them!'
legislation is not our salvation! abortion is a symptom of the real illness that goes down to the pit of our soul. lets say abortions are completely illegal to perform. if those women aren't redeemed by christ, their sin is still on them. don't you dare vilify these women. if you are apart from christ, then your sin is just as evil and its still on you too. instead of heaping unending scorn on these women, why don't we labor to see how we can show love to them and live out the gospel in front of them. we can pass all the legislation in the world and it will not convict sinners of their sins and bring them to repentance; this will only happen when the light of the glory of god in the face of christ is revealed to them and the veil is there no longer. it seems that all we have done is made our voices so ugly that these people don't hear it. they have been hoodwinked by an inaccurate perception of what the gospel is; lets show them the gospel and its effect of life, culture, creation, etc instead of constantly picking the same ole fight. if these women die in their sin, then they will receive the punishment for their actions, but i don't think that we have to take that as our battle, let god handle that.
for gay marriage, i think a lot of what i already said applies here. legislation is not the solution. for those who say 'marriage is sacred.' i believe that the purpose of marriage is to glorify god by showing off the relationship between christ and his church. so, if its a man and a man not serving that purpose, it appals me; if its a man and a woman, not serving that purpose, it appals me. it is very hard for me to go to weddings where both people are not actively seeking the glory of god and his purpose for marriage, it feels like the sacred covenant god created is being prostituted out. so why when its a gay couple it bothers you more (again, check your scorn and reread the aforementioned in christ/out of christ part). shouldn't we be asking these same questions as before? how do we show love to a group of people that 'we' have alienated and vilified? their sin also is still not outside of the grace of god.
so, i think a lot of people are trying to win a very small victory that really isn't a victory, through legislation. like leslie, a woman in my missional community, reminded me that we cannot impose our convictions and beliefs on those that aren't god's children. the bible says that and experience has proved that its not an effective way to show off the glory of god.
to summarize:
i think the killing of any human is wrong. i think that marriage is a covenant with a man and a woman both living for the glory of god and both seeking to show a lost, dying world the relationship between christ and his church. should we as followers of christ be looking to our secular government to impose these beliefs on a people who do not live for god; no, it is not effective nor does it deal with the real issue of human depravity. should we as followers of christ be begging god for the safe the passage of every human life through the birth canal and the salvation of every human living apart from christ and freedom from the sin that finds so many people enslaved, yes. may we not get so distracted by our politics that we forget our evil apart from christ. may we not follow the flinch to heap scorn or hate but let us follow jesus' example (rom. 5) and pauls instruction (2 cor. 10). legislation does not equal salvation or even righteousness! may we not get so concerned with politics that we forget that these people are made in the image of god and that they are not outside of gods grace. may we beg god to reveal himself to these people.
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p.s. a great snippet from alistair begg that is relevant.