About Me
7:09 PM
Damn, I wish you'd stop being the girl of my dreams!
Long distance, eyes lock, but stiff-armed away.
Hipsta in your walk, gangsta in your talk
Street swag, but your no idiot, you got papers to vouch
Beat stops, peeps talk, don't trip on their jaws
Break necks, hearts broke, son, pick up your drawz
Envious of this dime-piece beauty queen
Damn, I wish you'd stop being the girl of my dreams!
8:17 PM
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| pic has nothing to do with post, just awesome |
Just happened upon a money quote from this book I'm reading & wanted to share with the masses:
"Western governments, as carriers of modernity, separate religion from development because they accept modernity's dictate that church and state be separate because they deal with separate realms. Because the church understands evangelism as an activity appropriate to the spiritual world, while social action-- if it is an appropriate activity for the church at all-- is the appropriate response in the physical world, the church goes along with this imposed separation of what the gospel suggests is inseparable." -- Bryant L. Myers, Walking With The Poor.
Sacred/secular divide will kill your life with Jesus, reading of the bible & worldview.
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4:45 PM
I had some things that I'd usually tweet, but couldn't cut down to 140, hence post.
Vignette 01: I walk into Target & the first thing I see is a sign that reads 'FLU HQ'. Is that really the message you wanna send potential customers? That your store is the headquarters for the flu? Surely, McDonald's ball pit will file a lawsuit disputing copyright infringement. I went to a Wal*Mart next to see if they had a 'HEP A HQ' sign, but they didn't. I guess they're keeping their headquarters a secret...
Vignette 02: At Target, while looking for a clipboard, a mom & daughter (about 10yrs old) are looking at the cd's by the impulse buys, my guess is they are looking for a gift for someone else. Mom, trying to sound hip suggests, "how bout lady gaga?". The daughter, feeling the gall of the suggestion, "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I can't stand her." A little tear trickled down my face & I walked by the mom, patted her on the back & said "you're doin a fine job with that girl of yours, keep it up."
Vignette 03: I acquired the clipboard and was filling up my coke & there was this woman dressed up as Princess Jasmine. It took everything in me to not go up & ask her if I could show her the world. I did ask her todays date & her answer wasn't oct. 31, so I'm still a little confused bout the outfit choice. Queer eye, would not have been pleased. Granted, i was rockin some weird brown, orange & white plaid shorts & a beater, so glass houses, ya know. My sister would have politely went up to her & suggested that she dress for the job she wants, not the job she has. But then I thought, if she has a job at the magic kingdom where she gets to dress up as Jasmine, then why would you aspire to any other job? But then I thought, what if the magic kingdom were a strip joint? I guess the name wouldn't have to change....
Target was full of inspiration today, which has been severely lacking in my life. I've been in this place recently where, I know the only place I can find lasting & true inspiration is Jesus, but I don't really know how to get there? I will leave it there. Please comment your thoughts on this topic as I'm sure it is common to the human existence.
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2:37 AM
Once again, my boy Yeezy has made me love & want to become like Jesus! I shouldn't be so surprised by now...
I received 2 texts today that made me think of a metaphor bout my love for Kanye (which is only exceeded by his love for Kanye) & God's love for his own glory.
As with all metaphors, do not dissect past authorial intent.
The first text was a mass text asking for help moving. It'll probably be a diversion from my very busy day, but I'm big & could do it. This is the equivalent of the self interest prayers I can often throw up. They don't really serve the one I'm asking, but I've tried all other options & the one I'm asking is capable of help, so I toss it out there.
The second text, is from my almost ex-roomie (insert tear here) asking if he can snag Graduation from me. No brainer! I stopped what I was doing & burned him a copy of the CD. Not only did I burn him the CD, but I put all three bonus tracks on there as well, from the separate releases of the CD & double checked that I had the track order correct. It gives me the greatest delight to share what I love most (music, especially my favorite artist). This is the equivalent of the Gospel soaked, God centric prayers that I should pray (more often). This type of prayer seeks to know the essence of God & tap into his biggest interest, namely Himself & His renown.
When you approach prayer to God the first way, you can often find yourself knockin out the list. This sucks, that sucks, I want this, I need that, etc. The second approach is so much more enjoyable. Its almost rhetorical prayer, in a sense. God, please glorify yourself today. God, please make yourself the center of every thought/action/emotion I have today. God, please make your incarnate life, death, & resurrection & your promise of restoration so real to me today. Whats God gonna say, ummm, I don't know if I can do that...(imagine God, with a sheepish, contemplative look, shrugging his shoulders, holding his hands out like a scale, weighing the options). Thats God's thing. That's His deal. He is so ecstatic to do those very things & WILL do those very things ultimately & finally to all of his children when He chooses to usher in the restoration. Where the metaphor breaks down, is when we do throw up those weak sauce first text prayers to God, He's patient with us & is the ultimate good father who loves to give His children good things. He provides everything we need (and in this country, soooo much more) & actually derives joy in doing so. So, I can learn from my Father & go help my friends move with a heart filled with love & freedom, not begrudgingly or to fulfill some vain self-righteousness.
I'm still so awed at the way He is. I'm so glad that he allows me to get to know Him at all & be a part of His ultimate, glory seeking task of redeeming Himself a people, made up of every people to dwell with Him in His restored, perfect creation. Freakin sick!
11:52 PM
I was in the Pacific Northwest this weekend to be a part of my great & dear friend’s wedding. It was a great weekend!!! My buddy has a house in Seabeck, WA on the Hood Canal, which is a part of the Puget Sound. From his back balcony you can see the Hood Canal & the Olympic Mount Range. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Picturesque. All of these do not begin to describe how majestic the scenery is from the back of his house. His backyard is literally the Sound!!! God spoke so much to me in this time of enjoying His creation.
With all the technology we had there. Wi Fi, iPhone’s, video camera’s, a professional photographer, the beauty could not be reproduced better than what the human eye can just naturally see. God’s creation is so inexplicably beautiful, that it takes His own creation (the eye) to really see it. And all this is post Fall creation I’m seeing!!! I can’t even fathom what pre-Fall or post-Restoration creation will unfold. These thoughts blew my mind all weekend.
I would fantasize with Strivs what it would be like to live in Jon’s basement. Never needing to do anything but just be surrounded by the riches of God’s goodness displayed by nature. Driving down roads that are shaded by huge trees on both sides, though the sun was shining. It really was the anti-Phoenix. I was seriously letting my mind get to a place where I could say, my lease is up in October, I could move up here then.
So I went through my work day. Opening up my phone periodically to look at my pix from Seattle. Planning to go on Monster & start the job search. Thinking of how to convince Nangle to let me live in his basement. Our missional community was meeting tonight & I couldn’t wait to tell them all about the Pac. NW & the beauty of God’s creation. All of a sudden, it seemed like 42 revelations all came to me at once while being with my MC. I can’t move to Seattle. Seattle would suck because my MC isn’t there. I was so energized cutting mangoes & overhearing conversations, laughing, seeing 2 visitors slip right in & help with food prep & talk to people & talk about God’s redeeming plan of the world, hearing testimony of a broken girl feel so loved & blessed by our MC.
(Sidebar, there was this beautiful vignette tonight. Ryah was talking bout the tragicness of the fall. She was very articulately, beautifully, describing the massive offense to God that happened at the fall. Bringing up specific ways we see the fall playing out in our world. Everybody was tearing up & we were feeling the heaviness of God’s goodness & our sin juxtaposed, then Jenna interrupted, “But Jesus died for sin!”. I absolutely love that she couldn’t even put herself in that place mentally, where Jesus is not ruling, reigning & triumphant over death for even a few moments. She had to blurt out the gospel!)
You see, what God has done in JC’s life, death & resurrection is redeem a people. Not persons that happen to be next to each other but a people. His bride. The church. I can’t live without my people, nay, God has prescribed from the jump, that it is not good for a man to be alone. His church is in Seattle. It would not be wrong for me to move there & be a part of His church there. But thats not my people! As much as I know anything, I know that God has me in Phoenix, for now, to be a part of my community. Lord willing, there will be a day that I do move on from this community & it will hurt & suck, but it will not be just my selfish desire to be on a 24/7 vacation, looking at pretty mountains, it’ll be to be a part of a people, showing a people who don’t yet know Jesus, what it’s like to be a part of His people.
12:23 AM
I'm pullin into my parking spot in my apartment. I have roughly 35 mins to do bout 40 mins worth of stuff before my doctors appointment & then I see 'em. Two white, late teens, sportin a white shirt, black pants, tie & a name badge. I was hopin that they were far enough away to not get to me in time, but I hear, "How are you doin today?"
(aside) Mormons make my blood boil. Its that feeling you get when you see a rat run across your floor. How dare you come on my turf! I just really, really hate how they claim the Jesus I claim, yet that Jesus looks really different than the one you find in the scriptures. All that to say, I basically come just short of hating Mormons in my worst & in my best, barely loving them. (Definitely not an attitude that "the Jesus I claim" would have)
I say "Fine", very curtly. Head down, plowin ahead, ready to get stuff done. But then, I remembered a sermon i was literally just listening to in the car. It was a sermon bout social justice from Tim Keller. He brought up the story of the good Samaritan that Jesus tells the lawyer. Then the Holy Spirit piped in & was like who the hell are you? What did you do to become a child of God? How long did you hang on the Cross? Exactly how did you accomplish salvation for yourself? Oh, thats right, you didn't do that, Jesus did! Did Jesus do that because you're so great? Don't be stupid! Actually, Jesus did that for you when you were an enemy to Him, practicing & advocating the things that make His blood boil. I was like, my bad. I'll just let you stay in charge of salvation & judging the world & I'll obey you, through the power of your Spirit by loving my neighbor. It was pretty cool to see God do all that in me, it was like he took me through a 40 min sermon in 2 seconds.
So I changed my tune, and said "hey guys, why don't we go into the a/c & get ya cold drink & chat." We chatted for bout an hour, talked bout Jesus & life & they were on their way.
Not really all that grand of a gesture, but my heart sure had changed. After they left I thanked God for working that change in me. I thanked God for redeeming me & saving me & for the fact that He is so crazy sovereign & powerful that I cannot add or take away from his work.
Life can be really fun when the Gospel sinks in at real time speed!
6:12 AM
Blogging again. Feels good. Hope to be a little more consistent, I think I need the outlet right now. So, here goes nothing...
Pull
I feel like a crackhead sometimes
Creativity pierces skin & explodes
Inspiration rides me into the night
Beauty distracting, tweeking & refocusing me on
WHAT
Itching, scratching, longing, finding
WHAT
I hear this music and it, it ignites me
I can't really describe it...
A first embrace without insecurities
Juicy, ripe pears, no mess
Four Peaks with the fellas, carb less
Number 11 streaking up the field, AS the clock runs out
See, the only way to describe it is to withdraw the substance from life that supplies it
There's gotta be a part of Alanis that's thankful to Uncle Joey
TLC would have sticked to the rivers & lakes they were used to
Thom Yorke couldn't have validated millions of awkward adolescent creeps
But it's not just the lows... it the awesome & awe inspiring too
Earth, Wind & Fire in September & Summer Lovin, happenin so fast for Danny & Sandy
It's Bono's YEEEEEAAAAHH & Idol's Rebel Yell
Its a cold & its a broken hallelujah... and all the other hidden mysteries that life gives us to feel something... anything... everything.
Door busted in
Cold shower overtaking
Grip, slow released
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPP
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