Chuck Norris Award

This Audible Heisman is given to the baddest, illest, most dominate song of the year.  I'm sure, like me, that you can't deny the awesomeness that is Chuck Norris.  I'm sure you've heard them all, but here are a few highlights:


Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking 'bout. 
When Chuck Norris had surgery, anesthesia was applied to the doctor. 
Via http://www.thechucknorrisfacts.com/

Thats the intensity that this song brings to your ear drums.  It has four of the coldest mc's in the game, including a top three all time lyricist.  One of the best male vocals from a different genre.  The verse of the year that steals the whole song.  The song is on one of the most anticipated albums of the whole year.  It was given away for free.  What else do you want from a song?  So now, the Chuck Norris Award goes to...







Where to start?  To say my mind was blown would be the understatement of the year.  I was playing volleyball and I got a text from my fellow hip hop aficionado Isaac and it just said 'Monster'.  I was intrigued and was excited to get home and check online to see if I could crack the code.  I found out very quickly & I heard this song, I was goin all kenny smith on it, its over, its over!!!!!!  It starts out Bon Iver (yeah, I know!) then comes a lion roar.  I was hooked right then and there!  Nicki Minaj utterly destroys her verse (apparently it was co-wrote by ye, which isn't surprising) and takes over the song, a song with Jay-Z on it.  That right there puts her in very select company.  I mean seriously: 

• Pull up in the monster automobile gangster with a bad b-tch that came from Sri Lanka yeah I'm in that Tawnka, colour of Willy Wonka
• yeah my money's so tall that my barbie's gotta climb it
• but really really I don't give a F-U-C-K forget barbie f-ck nicki she's fake she's on a diet but my pockets eating cheese cake
• and I'll say bride of Chucky is Child's play just killed another career it's a mild day besides 'Ye they can't stand besides me

I know it must seem quite convenient that a Kanye song is song of the year.  First of all, touche.  Second of all, let me assure you that the awarding process is very strenuous, not to be rivaled by any other award show in its integrity and confidentiality.  I can't help that my favorite just happens to be the best sometimes, ya know?  

Its been a long, bumpy ride but the final award is upon us.  The Swiss Army Knife Award, after the jump.